Thursday, March 10, 2011

Rainy Thursday Thoughts

Last night a customer told me, "You haven't posted on your blog in a week! What's going on?"

First, I am still mentally recovering from my "Near Death by Cell Phone" experience. That caused more than a small amount of reflections on my life. More on that later.

Of course, I am doing a little better than Jesse over at Buffalo. He's still struggling with finding the time to post. If I had a secretary, I wouldn't be typing this swill, I would be dictating it. That's a hint, Jesse!!

When I get around to writing my book "Everything I know, I learned at the Waffle House", I will need to hire someone to do the typing if I want it published before I go. My typing skills cannot keep pace with the thought process.

Thanks to Mary and Craig for referring me to I ordered one of the wristbands. I am assuming that it looks so much more stylish than a toe tag. I did realize after last week's incident that if I was waiting for one of my neighbors to ID me, I was going to be in that ditch for a while.

How's the dog?? It's only taken a few weeks for "my wife's dog" to become the dog that I have to feed, water, and walk. ##@@**%%## dog!

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday. I briefly considered going to church, but then realized that it would be quicker to pick up a cigarette butt from the outside ashtray and decorate my own forehead. The bad thing about being bald is that my forehead is so much larger now. I might have needed a cigar instead.

An early morning discussion yesterday with a couple of attractive mature women led to the topic of cuts on my head. One suggested that I wear caps to protect my head, the other suggested a toupee. I am pretty sure that she has suggested the toupee more than once before. Write this down, Mrs. Late Bloomer, I would rather have stitches in my scalp than wear a rug!!

In the understatement of the week, one of my new employees told his mother, "If Gilbert's not there, it's pretty laid back." Hey, thanks for justifying my job!!

The news this week is that NPR is biased to the left. In other equally shocking news, the sun rose in the east.

In international news, France has taken the diplomatic lead in Libya by recognizing the rebels in that country. The smart money says that the President of France is having an affair with a Libyan women, or the French have discovered the Libyans have wine as well as oil. The final theory is that Libya has supplied France with all of those white flags over the years.

One of my history club accomplices sent this:


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