Typical Tuesday Taunts

Why doesn't the House of Representatives examine their own body and subpoena Nancy Pelosi's financial records to see what she's been doing?

Chuck "The Schmuck" Schumer. There's nothing left to say.

If you really believe that black lives matter, please stop killing each other.

The COVID-19 death rate is climbing in the nation because it pays hospitals more than any other disease. What you reward, you reinforce.

If the number of people wearing masks has increased and the number of people with the virus continues to increase, there are only two possibilities. First masks don't prevent the spread of the disease, OR masks are actually helping to spread the disease.

"Health Experts" are claiming that mobs protesting and looting are not spreading the virus because many wear masks. I thought they were wearing masks to keep their parents from seeing where they went after sneaking out of the basement.

The NBA will not allow any statements about Hong Kong on players' uniforms. Actions speak louder than words. 

Why do athletes all think that they are more important than the rest of us? Most of us have taught a dog to catch a ball. Does the dog beat his chest and point to the sky after catching the ball? Or does he just lick his balls and howl?

Does anyone really give a rat's ass about what a defensive back thinks, if they even do?

The Democrats want Bob Mueller to testify at a Senate hearing. Have they found a ventriloquist who can make it look like Mueller is putting together coherent thoughts? Maybe even a complete sentence?

Joe Biden is suing Troy Landry for trademark infringement. Apparently on Swamp People, Troy is calling himself "King of the Swamp". Biden claims that he used it first.

Hanging in there, Bubba Wallace finished 27th in Sunday's race at Kentucky. There must have been something that slowed his car down. What's the drag coefficient on a noose made from garage door rope?

The NASCAR race was won by rookie Cole Custer. NASCAR has asked him to change his name to keep from offending their Native American demographic. He's trying to pick between George Custer and Cole Porter.

Roy Cooper keeps removing statues claiming that they are "Public Safety hazards". Those mobs roaming the streets vandalizing memorials, burning, and looting are all just tourists according to Cooper.

Need a mob to protest, loot, and burn? Call 1-800-DEMOCRAT. They deliver.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg is back in the hospital. Another case for term limits for federal judges. With any luck, her last words will be "Trump lives".

If you are a guy who wants to pretend to be a woman, go ahead. Just don't expect the rest of us to pretend with you.

The only good thing about the whole transgender thing is that we now know that doctors will do anything for money. This is a liberal celebration of mental illness. If someone wanted to cut off their arm, would you let them? Of course not, but cutting off your penis is okay?

Actually, there's another good side effect from transgenders. Suddenly everyone is talking about pronouns. I haven't heard a discussion on pronouns in 50 years. Of course, public education has failed so badly that not many people understand what pronouns are.

The pronoun thing won't gain any traction without students in school. They can play together outside in their yards, but can't sit next to each other in a classroom. Does this really make sense?

Did some research on social distancing standards in other countries. In Europe, some nations use one meter as the distance. Other use one and a half meters as the standard. The British, who brought us the prudes of the Victorian Age, use two meters. The United States uses six feet, a little less than two meters. Where is the science that shows that any or all of these work? Is it in the rising virus rates??

In closing, the Washington Redskins have announced that they will change their team name. I was hoping for the Raleigh Redskins but that apparently will not be. If not, how about "The Foreskins"? This will pay tribute to all of the dickheads in D.C. and those who clamored for change. Plus, they can still be referred to as "the Skins". Also, if you have season tickets, they will have a special feature for the "Foreskin" fans. Just rub your seat and it turns into a club suite.