Boothers and the Barrel

 I have two words for Cracker Barrel leadership: "New Coke". I realize that was before most of them graduated from high school but there's a lesson for them in that debacle. 

I know that the folks at Cracker Barrel have engaged the services of companies that do consumer research and all kinds of polls and surveys, but that doesn't carry any weight in the real world. In real world of the restaurant business the cash register talks, and all other opinions are just bullshit and theories.

If the leaders at Cracker Barrel want to make changes in their business, they need to do them gradually. It's like piloting an ocean liner, you don't make a hard left turn and just hope that everything stays in place. It won't. By trying to make dramatic changes, the brainless at the Barrel are throwing their loyal customers overboard to satisfy people who don't eat at Cracker Barrel. You don't blow up your business to build it. Ask the folks at Coke.

Forget the sign change which has now been scrapped. Forget about whitewashing the walls and changing the decor. Wait!!! An auctioneer that I buy from is one of a very limited number of auction companies to be selected by Cracker Barrel to sell all of the old decor they are removing. He's not allowed to advertise that the items are from the Cracker Barrel but anyone with more than a room temperature IQ can see that. Cracker Barrel is actually making a bigger mistake than the decor change that will cause them more operational problems in the long run.

What is that bigger mistake? They are putting booths in at their newly remodeled locations. Why are they doing that? They are doing that because that is what their "research" says that people want. People may also want drugs and sex when they make a pitstop from the highway but hopefully the Barrel will not pay attention to that research.

I am willing to share some of the knowledge that I have acquired in a more than fifty-year career in the restaurant business. I am not a "boother". I go to restaurants to eat, not to lounge on the furniture. I am perfectly happy to put my ass in a chair and eat. But there are people who must have a booth. I had a customer tell me one day that he couldn't eat unless he was seated in a booth. Naturally, I asked him about how big a booth he had at home for his dining pleasure. He told me that the only reason that he went out to eat was to sit in a booth. This guy made my Top Ten "Dumbest Son of a Bitches" that I have met in my life list.

Just to confirm my "I Love Stupid People" belief, I offer a few thoughts. Countless times, I have watched as a host or hostess asked a customer, "How many in your party?" and the person replied "Booth". I never missed the opportunity to point out to these people that "booth" is not a number. Of course, then you have the "closet boothers". These are people who you take to a table, but if a booth empties before they get their food, they jump up and go sit down at the dirty booth. Then you have to explain to them that someone else has been waiting for that booth and they need to get their asses back to their table. Yeah, it's never easy.

People sit longer at booths than they do at tables and chairs. This cuts the table turnover rate in the dining room. So, while you may have happier customers in those booths, you have fewer of them. Will the "boothers" spend more to make up for the lower turnover rate? 

Booths will increase the wait times for those waiting in the Country Store area for a table. At some point, they are going to tire of waiting and just buy a candy bar and get back on the road. Those waiting outside in the rockers won't even bother buying a candy bar, they will just leave. So instead of booths driving up sales, they are actually going to reduce sales. By the way, the check average for "boothers" is no higher than for the peasants at regular tables.

This is the problem with market research and surveys. First, people lie on surveys. Second, there is no such thing as a perfect sampling. Coca-Cola did much more research than the Cracker Barrel did and they still pulled off a screwup of epic proportions, New Coke. The New Barrel won't hold water. 

Several years ago, fast food restaurants started putting the soft drink dispensers in the dining room so people could get their own drinks. Those of us who opposed that pointed out the flaws in that system. What happened? After about a ten-year period of experimentation, soft drink dispensers are now going back behind the counter. Why? People steal.  That never turned up in surveys.

Go get those chicken and dumplings while you can!! Don't wait for a booth.