If it's Saturday Morning

I decided to have a bagel for breakfast this morning. As I headed to the kitchen, I was trying to decide between a cinnamon raisin bagel and a blueberry bagel. When I opened the bread box my choice was quickly narrowed. All we had left were thin sliced whole wheat bagels. UGH!!! They aren't even real bagels!! I'm guessing that family members had finished off the good bagels. If this keeps up, I may have to run away from home. I was able to put enough honey pecan cream cheese and peanut butter on that bagel to negate the value of the whole wheat!!

Today is Republican primary day in South Carolina. That will give me something to watch on television tonight. South Carolina is a whole different world. My mother's family is from South Carolina. The Steeles settled there in 1790, so we have been there for a little while.
At a Sons of Confederate Veterans convention in Charleston in 2000, I described South Carolina as "too big to be an asylum, too small to be a country." Yeah, they didn't like it either.

What's the culture like in South Carolina? You want to define disgusting? Go to Salley, South Carolina for their annual "Chitlin Strut". Bring your own gas mask!

In 1865 at the end of the Civil War, Jefferson Davis fled Richmond. He passed through South Carolina and actually spent a night in York, my mother's home town. He wrote that it was the best reception that he had experienced since he arrived in Richmond early in the war. It seemed like the residents of York did not realize that the war was over. I was there in 1965, 100 years later, and they still didn't know the war was over.

There was a story on the news this morning about the spouses of the GOP candidates. Karen Santorum was interesting. Before she met and married Rick and had seven children, she lived for six years with a doctor who did abortions. I forgot to mention that he was 40 years older than her and was actually the doctor who delivered her at birth. She will fit right in there in South Carolina. I doubt that she will even be noticed. This is the state that gave us Strom Thurmond. At age 66, Strom married a 22 year old. Maybe the Thurmond voters will go for Santorum.

How about that Calista Gingrich? She's a real beauty. Of course, that's in an anorexic, Wicked Witch of the West kind of way. This is Newt's third try at marriage, you have to figure that he's learned something. I am still awed that he married his high school teacher as his first wife. That could be a plus in South Carolina. A friend claims that the third marriage is the one that works. It doesn't matter if it works, it's South Carolina.

Wives aside, it's all about the votes in South Carolina today. Will Romney win in South Carolina? Are you serious? Romney will be lucky to finish third or fourth. Gingrich and Ron Paul will probably finish ahead of him. It isn't Louisiana, so a dead man (like Rick Perry) won't win. Santorum may do well, but being a Yankee isn't helping him. Romney, he's both a Yankee and a Mormon, and it is South Carolina. Romney may finish third. That's predicated on the voters not seeing the Karen Santorum story. If enough see it, they could push Rick ahead of Mitt.

What's the meaning of all of this? It means if the results match my predictions, my next job is political analyst. Is anyone from CBS reading this swill??