Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Is this the worst.....???

Last night I stopped by Target to see if they had any Christmas cards left. I'm not cheap, just starting early for next year. I was too late, they had all the Christmas stuff gone and the Valentine's Day cards were in place. As I looked down the rack, the world's ugliest Valentine's Day card grabbed my attention. I walked over and looked at it. I bought it because if I didn't buy it,  no one would ever believe my story about this card.

On the outside was written, "Stand by your man". On the inside was "Happy Valentine's Day".

Guys, here's a warning. DO NOT send this card to a woman you love without first making sure that you have a full set of body armor. You might want to double up on the groin plate! She may kick!

I wouldn't send this card to Mary and she dumped me 34 years ago. I wouldn't give this card to Dolly, my wife's dog. I wouldn't send it to any one with whom I wanted to remain friends. I just don't hate any woman badly enough to give her this card on Valentine's Day.

I sent a picture of this card to The Queen and I'll be lucky if she is still speaking to me after she gets the e-mail. Wait! The Queen has answered my e-mail. Her response to the picture of the card?? "Words Fail Me." I guess that pretty much wraps it up from the conservative female viewpoint.

 I'm afraid to bring this card into the house for fear that my wife might find it and think that I was giving it to her.  I may as well move if I give my wife this card.  Do you get the idea?

There might be some gay Democrat that wants this card, but other than that I think that the market is pretty limited. Without any further warnings, here's your card. I'm sorry, but I think that he looks a little like Anthony on Designing Women. Anthony, I'm sorry!


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