Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Top Ten ??

This is the time of year when we are all inundated with "Top Ten" stories. They are in the newspaper, they are on television, they are online. Like crap, they are everywhere. The good news is that I am not doing any kind of "Top Ten" list. All I want to know is how we ended up with TEN.

What's a nerd thinking about when he's running down the road at 5:00 A.M. on a cold morning?? This morning, it was "Why do we have Top Ten" lists?? Why not a Top Eleven? How about a Top Nine? I like prime numbers. How about a Top Thirteen? Or is the incidence of triscadecaphobia too high in this country?

Maybe it is the alliteration of "Top Ten"? Then why not Top Twenty, Top Two, or Top Twenty Two? I love alliteration, ask anyone in management who works for me. But I don't think that's it.

Maybe "Ten" became more popular after the movie "10" with Bo Derek. Years later, a coworker and I were discussing the movie. He told me, "I heard that the movie actually had a plot." I nodded knowingly and responded, "Yeah! I heard the same story." We were both wrong. I really don't believe that the movie "10" or Bo Derek (She's actually a Republican) had anything to do with "Top Ten" lists, but I just wanted to throw that story in this morning.

So what can we use other than "Ten"? A friend tells me that "Seven" is the Biblical number for perfection. Maybe she's right. Let's explore that briefly. We could have a "Heavenly Seven","Heaven sent Seven", "Heaven's Seven", and "Seven from Heaven". We are already using Seventh Heaven. At Taco Bell, I worked with a guy who one day offered me his opinion on my progress in committing all of the Seven Deadly Sins. Thanks, but flattery got him no where, other than an opportunity to pursue a new career. But even the Bible digresses, we have the "Ten" Commandments.

So I'm in favor of giving "Seven" a chance. It's a prime number and we have covered the Biblical aspect. Look at the alliterative possibilities. We could have Super Seven, Sexy Seven, Sensuous Seven, Sultry Seven, Silly Seven, Savvy Seven, Sorry Seven, Psycho Seven, Sad Seven, Serious Seven, Sensible Seven, Sunny Seven, Celibate Seven, Sick Seven, and Seven Eleven.

Give Seven a chance!!


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