Saturday, June 27, 2009

Big head vs small head, The Mark Sanford story

I was torn on the title of this. I originally wanted to call it "Don't cry for me Argentina". By now, even the slow witted among you have heard about the problems of Mr. Sanford, the governor of South Carolina. Allow me to share a few thoughts about the governor's problems.

Sanford apparently thought that he could leave the state for seven days to visit his mistress in Argentina and no one would notice. Sorry Mark, but that was your little head doing the thinking. Even the Kennedys know that you can't pull that one off. Admittedly, there's not a whole lot going on in South Carolina in June except at Myrtle Beach. But being out of town on Father's Day, when you are the governor and have four children will almost certainly be noticed.

I must be honest here, I have read the alleged e-mails the Gov and Maria exchanged. Here's a sample:
“I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificently gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curves of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of night’s light — but hey, that would be going into the sexual
details ...”
After reading that, I was about ready to start checking airfares to Argentina. (Just kidding, Darling!)

After that in the same e-mail, he quoted 1 Corinthians 13. Apparently the little head is in firm control of the governor. Let's face it, who quotes THE BIBLE in an e-mail to his mistress?? OK, maybe something from the Song of Solomon would have be appropriate.

A last note about emails. For a guy with an MBA, his spelling is bad. Before you send Maria any more e-mails, learn where the spell check button is.

Sanford should have just told people that he was checking into a rehab center for the week. It would have created less of a fuss. What kind of cover story is "hiking the Appalachian trail"? I should have asked Walter and Daniel that question.

Sanford's biggest mistake was his failure to realize that his wife, the millionaire, is in charge at home. You would think that a guy with an MBA, a colonel in the Army Reserve, a three term Congressman, and a two term governor (even of South Carolina) would understand this. She had already thrown him out of their home and told him not to see his mistress again. He headed to Argentina anyway. Once again, Sanford was getting his data from his little head.

If I were Sanford and been greeted by a reporter at the Atlanta airport, I would have just turned around and gotten back on the plane. It just isn't going to get any worse. He's a lame duck governor and the only way to get back in at home will be to have his balls placed in a jar on his wife's desk. His little head is going to be lonely.


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