Top Tuesday Topics?

Weeks later, people are still ridiculing Secretary of Transportation Sean Duffy for suggesting on television before Thanksgiving, that air travelers should dress a little better. In the interest of full disclosure, I will admit that I gave up traveling by air more than twenty years ago. I don't believe that you must be denuded of your dignity to get on a frigging airplane. But back to Duffy's suggestion, I actually agree with him. As you pick yourself up off the floor, I will explain.

When I was in junior high school and high school, we used to have "Dress Up Day" periodically through the school year. In the ninth grade, I asked a teacher why we had "Dress Up Day". She told us that students behaved better when they were better dressed. I asked the Dean of Boys later that day and he told me the same thing.

One of my favorite restaurants, the Angus Barn in Raleigh, has a dress code. Their dress code even covers hats that people are allowed to wear. If you think that this might affect their business, I will point out that their reservation list is completely booked for the holiday season. So maybe Secretary Duffy is on to something?

At a class reunion a few years ago, there was a dinner on Saturday evening as the main event of the weekend. The cost of dinner was $95 per person. Of the roughly ninety people who attended, several wore shorts. Interestingly enough, most of the women were dressed up. Secretary Duffy would have been pleased. There were three of four of the men present who wore a coat. Yes, I was one. I also wore my Dilbert tie, but that's another story. A male classmate asked me why I was wearing a coat. I explained the Jones Rules of Dress. If dinner is not served in a bag or box, you at least wear long pants. If dinner is over fifty dollars, you wear a coat. As the questioner was wearing shorts; he was not amused.

If you are skeptical about The Jones Rules of Dress, feel free to contact my children. Several years ago, I wanted to surprise my wife for our fortieth wedding anniversary. I made reservations for our family to have dinner at the Angus barn. I told my sons and other family members who were invited that the Jones Rules of Dress would be in effect for the gathering. If you guessed that everyone complied, go to the head of the class.

If Democrats were as concerned about the welfare of our children as they are about the safety and well-being of foreign narco-terrorists trying to smuggle drugs into our country, they might have a brighter future.

I saw a local news program the other night where they were interviewing Charlotte residents who ride the Light Rail. There were several who said that they would not even sit down on the train. They stayed standing to improve their chances of escaping criminals. Someone needs to forward this video to NC Governor Josh Stein.

Zohran "Commie Mamdani" has appointed a guy who served seven years in prison for robbing a taxi driver, as a "legal system consultant" in his administration. How long before he appoints a bank robber or a drug dealer as an "economic" adviser? That big flushing sound that you hear is New York City going down the shitter.

Let's go ahead and admit that "college football" is officially dead. We should forever ban the use of the term, "student-athlete". It's time to admit that what we have is professional teams sponsored by and representing various universities and colleges. I am looking forward to sponsoring the Random Moments of Lunacy Bowl game. 

Senate Democrats have announced that they will not support a bill to fund medical research to find a cure for Trump Derangement Syndrome. However, some more moderate Democrats have indicated that they will support the funding for establishing Liberal Losers Anonymous, a group that will offer a twelve-step program to deal with Trump Derangement Syndrome. Watch for a chapter near you!!

I can see it now!! "My name is Chuck the Schmuck Schumer and I have TDS."