Boycotts and Other B.S.

 I read an article yesterday about the Canadian "boycott" of Florida. Ontario Premier Doug Ford said that he will be abstaining from his usual winter vacation in Florida. He claims that lots of other Canadians will not be traveling to Florida also.

I hate to burst the bubble of Mr. Ford's imagination, but I feel compelled to let some of the air out of his balloon. My mother dragged us to Florida when I was six years old. I lived there until I was thirty and then returned home to North Carolina. While working more than six years at the Waffle House in Florida, I learned all that I needed to know about Canadian tourists. 

The first thing to know about Canadians is that there are a lot of restaurant and other hospitality employees who would rather deal with a New Yorker than a Canadian. The old joke is, What's the difference between a canoe and a Canuck? The canoe will tip! There are a lot of waiters and waitresses celebrating at the news of a Canadian boycott. Beyond that, Canadian tourists are not known for their friendliness. "Haughty", "aloof", "pompous", and "arrogant" are all used to describe Canadian tourists. Pick the description you like and run with it. Memo to Canucks: Those New York license plates that you see all belong to other tourists. This is the South. Learn to love it!

The handling of the shooting at Brown University has risen to a score of 10 on the Cluster Scale. Is there anybody left from Barney Miller or Hawaii 5-0 who is still alive to help these guys? If not, we may have to deputize Gomer and Goober to help Barney Fife with this case.

It seems like everybody in America has a smartphone and takes pictures of everything. Tell people to check their selfies that they deleted because someone was in the background. That's probably the shooter who strayed into their selfie. 

There is a communication problem between government officials and the press corps covering the incident. I don't believe that the first team is playing on either side. One thing that is obvious to even me, is that there is no one clearly in charge of what is going on in Providence. 

I watched the twenty or thirty seconds of video that the Providence police are sharing. They have 800 cameras on the campus at Brown and most of the neighbors have Ring cameras. If those are all of the pictures of the killer that are available, he must have parachuted onto the campus. How about some video from the stores and restaurants in the area? He must at least have walked by some of these places on his way to the campus. 

What is the one thing about this about which I am absolutely certain? If that murdering SOB had been wearing a MAGA cap, his ass would have been in jail on Saturday night. 

In Biloxi, Mississippi yesterday, a 33-year-old woman from Texas was arrested for putting razor blades into loaves of bread at two Walmart stores. She also placed a fishing hook into one bakery item. No one has been injured, yet. If you guessed that she has facial tattoos, you are correct.