Justify your existence?

 In an effort to test the effectiveness of my blood pressure medication, I watched some videos of Congressional hearings yesterday. The doctor may need to up the dosage as I was unable to write about my experiences until today. I had just picked a few at random from the thousands of videos available online.

The good news is that I didn't watch enough videos to cause me to go "full Elvis" and shoot out the monitor. The bad news is that are almost all of the videos are in the same style.

Let's set up the scenarios for almost all of these videos. In the first scenario, an appointed government employee gets called to testify before the House or Senate about some situation. Unless the appointed employee is cloistered in a monastery, they know why they are being called before Congress. No one is called into a Congressional hearing to see how they like their job. They are called in because there is an issue for which they have some responsibility that Congress has questions about. In the second scenario, someone has been nominated for a position or a promotion for which Congressional approval is needed.

In the real world, if your boss calls you in for a meeting, you prepare for that meeting. If sales suck or costs are high or customer complaints are at record levels, you know enough to come to the meeting with some facts for answers to questions. That's not how government works. 

I watched a couple of Senators question the Secretary of Homeland Security, the useless Alejandro Mayorkas. I wouldn't let that worthless piece of crap guard our chicken coop with our five old hens. But I digress. Mayorkas appeared before the Senate committee and was asked about how many illegal immigrants have come into the country this year and are still here.  He told the Senator that he would have to get him that information. The moron in charge of "Homeland Security" does not bring any data with him to a hearing. Are you serious? He just went on about how they needed more money. Any question regarding actual numbers received the same reply, "I will get you that information. Yo! Alejandro, write this down. Take information to hearings! In the age of smart phones, tablets and laptop computers, there is no reason to show up at a hearing without the data. NONE!!

Crappy Chris Wray, the FBI director, is another example of all that is wrong with the federal government. He knows absolutely nothing about what Congress asks him. He is always going to "get you that information." However, if you criticize him or the FBI, he can tell you exactly how many new FBI recruits came from your state. How does this work? Does he tell his aides something like this. "Matt Gaetz from Florida is going to attack me. How many new hires are from Florida?" Wray claims to be a Republican. He must have studied politics at the feet of Mitt Romney. Do me a favor Chris. Why don't you just go ahead and officially join the Democrats?

In the second scenario for hearings, someone has been appointed to a post for which they need Senate confirmation. Judge appointees are the worst. Senators only have five minutes to question someone, so every appointee's answer starts with "Senator, thank you for the question." This is like watching a football team trying to run out the clock. I like to watch Senator John Kennedy question people. When they start stalling by saying meaningless drivel, he just says "You're trying to filibuster me!" But my favorite Kenndyism is when a nominee says something really stupid and Kennedy responds, " You are the only person in the Milky Way who believes that." If people who want to be judges can't answer questions in the Seante hearing, how are they going to do it in a courtroom? How long would any of these candidates last in a real-life job interview? 

In the real world, over the 50 years I spent in the restaurant business I have interviewed thousands of job applicants. I have almost always ended the interview with a simple question. Why should I hire you? Note: I have less tolerance for filibustering than Senator Kennedy.

If you are dealing with an employee performance issue, the question is always "Why should I keep you working here?" The Senate needs to call in Merrick Garland, Chris Wray, Alejandro Mayorkas, Pete Buttgig and others and ask them, "Why should we keep you working here?" Of course, the Senate won't do that because there aren't enough balls in the Senate to stock a pool table.

I have told this story many times, but it is worth repeating today. In the ninth grade at Pierce Junior High, P.A. Russo was my Civics teacher. He would call on people with questions completely unrelated to Civics but questions that would make you think. My favorite was when he would call someone by name and ask a question. It went like this, "Miss Smith, stand up please. You have two minutes, justify your existence."

Alejandro Mayorkas, you have two minutes. Justify your existence.