It worked for the Colonel

 More than fifty years ago I was cooking the night shift (11:00 PM to 7:00 AM) at the Waffle House on Westshore Boulevard in Tampa. At the time, this was the closest restaurant to the airport that was open all night. It was about 1:30 AM on a Sunday night/ Monday morning and we had three or four customers in the restaurant. 

Monday was Gasparilla Day, a local celebration and parade honoring a mythical (?) pirate legend, Jose Gaspar. The pirate invasion would take place in the morning on the riverfront downtown and then a parade would proceed down Bayshore Boulevard in the afternoon. School was out for the celebration and most people who worked downtown were off that day.

Back at the Waffle House, it was about 1:30 when I saw a car pulling into the parking lot. I saw four men get out of the car, so I walked over and woke the waitress. As I turned to walk back to the grill area the four men came in the door. There were a couple of guys in dark suits, a white-haired guy in a dark suit, and the legend himself, Colonel Harland Sanders. 

They sat down and quickly ordered their meals. It only took a few minutes for me to cook their order and the waitress served them. As they were finishing their meals, the Colonel got up to go to the restroom. With him gone, I went over and asked, "What the hell is going on here? I am sure that is Colonel Sanders, but who are you?" My question was directed at the white-haired guy in the dark suit. 

The guy laughed and said, "We rarely travel together but with the weather problems tonight, we all came in the same plane. Then when we got here it was too late to eat at the hotel, so here we are at the Waffle House eating with you." So, I asked, "Why do you look like the Colonel?"

"We are here for your Gasparilla Festival today. The Colonel is here to appear on a couple of local television shows. I am the Colonel's parade double, so I am here to ride in the parade on our float."

Still a little curious, I asked, "Why doesn't the Colonel ride in the parade?" The double laughed and said, "First, the Colonel is too old to ride on a float in a parade. Second, screaming little children tend to annoy the Colonel. And last but not least, when provoked the Colonel can cuss like a sailor. It's not the look the company wants,"

I laughed and thanked them for the information. About that time, the Colonel returned from the restroom, and they all headed back out into the night. 

I have told this story several times over the years, and it still brings back pleasant memories. The other day, my story took on a whole new meaning during a discussion about politics. One member of our group was claiming that there is a double for Joe Biden. Others said the idea of a double was absurd and could not possibly happen. Finally. they resorted to asking the resident "old guy" for his wisdom. I recounted the story that you just read.

When the laughter faded, I pointed out that if there was a double for Colonel Sanders, why not for Joe Biden? It would certainly explain a lot. If there is not a double for Biden, someone needs to explain the two energy levels and the two different personalities in the President of the United States. Don't waste your time telling me that it can't be done. The FBI and the Secret Service have been involved in much bigger scams than this. The FBI and the Secret Service protected the facts that JFK brought all kinds of women into his quarters at the White House. Do you believe for an instant that the Secret Service didn't know that Monica Lewinsky was blowing Bill Clinton in the Oval/Oral Office?

If there can be two Colonels, why not two Presidents? It's only up a few pay grades and down several IQ points.