Current Events Test- Multiple Choice

 Here's a short test on current events. in keeping with 21st Century educational practices, there is neither a passing score nor a failing score. Existence is  racist.

1. Obama spoke about UFOs the other day from his experiences as a President. Why did the Big O feel compelled to speak out about aliens?

a. Ancient Aliens on the History Channel was working on a report on his family tree.

b. A reporter asked about the "glide angle" of Obama's ears.

c. The high school he claimed to attend is holding a reunion at his house.

d. The price of gas in California hit $7 a gallon.

e. All of the above

2. Lori Lightfoot, the mayor of Chicago, announced that she will not sit for an interview with any reporter who is not black or brown. Why?

a. She's a morally bankrupt liar and racist.

b. She hates white people.

c. She is using this as a way to meet girls.

d. She wants to be interviewed by Elizabeth Warren.

e. All of the above

3. Why does Joe Biden keep wearing a mask?

a. He loved watching the Lone Ranger as a child.

b. He was The Lone Ranger until he was fired for taking off the mask and sniffing Tonto.

c. When he is wearing the mask, no one knows who is actually talking.

d. Wearing the mask causes people to focus their attention on Joe and they don't notice the ventriloquist with his arm up Joe's ass making him talk.

e. All of the above 

4. How much will Andrew Cuomo make per book sold from his latest masterpiece American Crisis, Leadership Lessons from the COVID-19 Pandemic?

a. $1 

b. $5

c. $10

d. $50

e. He is getting paid a little more than $5 million for a book that has sold 50,000 copies. Do the math

5.  My high school graduation class is holding a 50 year reunion in Tampa in October. Tickets to the Friday night reception are $35 person with a cash bar available. Tickets to the Saturday night dinner are $95 per person and there is a cash bar. There were 714 people in our graduating class. Am I ?

a. Taking my wife to the Angus Barn in Raleigh that night and saving money and getting a better meal.

b. Not going because the list of everyone that  I want to see doesn't fill a Post-it note.

c. Not going because the list of everyone who wants to see me won't fill a Post-It note.

d. Going to Tampa, but meeting some of my coworkers from my years at the Waffle House instead. How much can dinner at the Waffle House be? There will be better stories at this gathering. I was at the Waffle House longer than I was at high school.

e. Undecided