Got a Tale by the Tiger?

Tiger Woods has a new career that does NOT involve golf. Today he was named as the Chief Instructor at the Ted Kennedy School of Island Driving. Ted was the only guy to ever drive off that bridge on Chappaquiddick Island and only Tiger has ever rolled a car on that street on Jupiter Island.

We are starting a drive to help out Tiger. We are going to collect old prescription bottles, narcotics bottles are preferred, and send them to Tiger so he won't just have to throw his pills into his pants pockets. He looks like such an ordinary addict with the pills just tossed into his pockets. I can't believe that nobody told him about plastic bags. He's a billionaire and he can't come up with fake prescriptions to cover his ass when things go wrong? What's he doing with all of that money? Other than buying drugs, of course.

Tiger and his attorneys have asked for a jury trial. Shouldn't his attorneys have waited for him to sober up before making this decision? A guy with his driving record must have been stoned to make that decision. I am not going to wait for a jury of twelve Floridians to decide that they want to let a billionaire drive like a US Senator. It's not like this is his first accident. Of course, it wasn't Ted's either.

I don't know if putting your life into the hands of twelve jurors who might be old white people who are tennis fans will always work out for you. A bench trial would take a few days. A jury trial is probably going to take at least a week. The guy who wants to go out of the country for treatment because he wants privacy, wants a jury trial. Was he just too trashed to know what "jury trial" meant when they asked him? 

If Tiger had not had a great surgeon to take care of his mangled leg after his last accident a few years ago in California, he would have had someone else driving him the other day. I don't think that he even got a ticket for that wreck. Maybe medicine doesn't have all of the answers. They just fixed him up so that he could do it all again.

Will Tiger be the first guy on the Senior Tour to have a "Designated Driver"? 

By his own account, Tiger was driving down the road trying to adjust the radio and do something with his cell phone. There are no reports about how fast he was going, but I am pretty sure that data is in his car's computer waiting for the police to get a warrant to find it. Even without him admitting to being ripped, it's a bad case of misplaced priorities. It was a narrow road with a big pickup truck and a large trailer behind it. Check out the pictures.

You can bet your ass that we would have better information about the accident and better pictures of the scene if Tiger had wrecked his car in Polk County, where Sheriff Grady Judd runs the show. If you haven't heard of Grady, check with Mr. Google.

Here's a chance for the judicial system in Florida to show that they treat everyone fairly. If Tiger keeps his driver's license after this incident, there's no justice in Florida.