Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Rebels without a clue

The home of Jefferson Davis, only President of the Confederate States of America, in Mississippi was severely damaged in Hurricane Katrina. The Military Order of Stars and Bars (MOS&B) is collecting money to restore the home.
I was wondering if the Sons of Confederate Veterans were participating in this effort. I checked their website and found no indication of interest in restoring the house. I contacted a friend in the SCV who sent me an e-mail regarding their position. A national officer for the group described the MOS&B efforts as "granny-infested" and said that the SCV would not be participating.
Let's work through this slowly.
Step 1. The home of the only President of the Confederacy is damaged.
Step 2. The SCV purports to maintain monuments, etc. of the Confederacy.
Step 3. The home of Davis surely qualifies as a part of Confederate history.
Step 4. The SCV decides against helping the MOS&B repair the home because the MOS&B effort is "granny-infested".
Step 5. Ask the SCV why they give freely to lawsuits involving "Battle flag" t-shirts and "Battle flags" on toolboxes, and "Battle flags" at school, but don't want to repair the home of Jefferson Davis.
Step 6. Analyze all this information and come to a conclusion. The SCV is no longer an historical group and is not as interested in preservation as they are in waving a battle flag in someone's face.
Step 7. Tell those boys at the SCV to read their charter. They have become lost and are wandering in the wilderness. I will bet they send their children off to school in the morning with the warning, "Be careful, there may be grannies out there".
That does it for today. Another "historical" group exposed as a fraud.

I Love stupid people!!!

There' s a country music song about stupid people that I like, I believe the title is "Here's your sign". The singer advocates that stupid people should be required to have a sign identifying them as such.
There really is no need for signs. Half the fun in my life is picking those folks out and telling stories about them. An employee performed an act of incredible stupidity and tried to apologize. I told him there was no need to apologize and that my family would enjoy the story. He asked what I meant by that and I told him that the dinner table entertainment at home was stories from work. If I didn't encounter stupid people everyday, it would be quiet at home in the evening.
My current champion stupid person is a cook at work who asked for a raise three weeks ago. Since telling me how valuable he was and how he deserved a raise, he has missed four days. One of his coworkers suggested that he was missing work to demonstrate to me how valuable he is. I explained that I had done the work he spends seven hours performing in two hours on one of those days. I also pointed out that all he was showing me was that I don't need him anyway.
Payday is next Wednesday, we will see what happens when he opens that pay envelope. "Here's your sign!"
To paraphrase "Whispering Bill Anderson", (I'm sure his CDs are still on the shelf in the New Orleans Wal-Mart) "God must love stupid people, 'cause he made so many of them."

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Seen on the Internet today

Disclaimer: I am not the creator of this work, I don't know who is. I did think that it was funny. Thanks to Ross Hunt for sending it my way.

I guess Shania's butt just isn't big enough!!

A news story this morning out of New Orleans, the slum beneath the sea, spoke of business owners returning to find that their businesses had been looted by those who lingered behind. On a personal note, my people have been cleared of any charges of looting. Reports from the new Wal-Mart in uptown(?) New Orleans stated that the store had been cleared out, stripped of ALMOST all of the merchandise. According to a store employee the only thing left was the country music CDs. Yes, they left Shania, Reba, Toby, Kenny, and the rest of the country singers alone. Proof positive that no rednecks were present during the looting at the Wal-Mart. I guess the basketballs and tennis shoes went early!!

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Seven steps to cheaper gas

Gas prices bothering you? Do you think that oil companies are doing their own looting in the wake of Katrina? Cheer up boys and girls!! Here's a way to drop those wallet-emptying gas prices. Send these suggestions to your Congressman or Senator and tell them to do something FOR us, not TO us for a change. Also, e-mail "W" and tell him that if he is worried about his "legacy", give these ideas a shot.

1. The President declares a state of emergency (not that big a deal, they do it regularly) and freezes the wholesale and retail gas prices at the level of August 1.
2. Order the Justice Department to file anti-trust suits seeking the breakup of all the recent oil company mergers. It is obvious that the reduced competition has resulted in higher prices and reduced supplies.
3. Congress should pass a 90% tax on windfall profits made by oil companies. Allow them the profit made per gallon last year and an allowance for inflation. Everything more than that gets taxed at 90%.
4. Contact the Saudis and suggest that production dramatically increase. If not, we already have an army in the neighborhood bringing democracy to Iraq. Maybe Saudi Arabia would do better as a democracy.
5. Tell the Mexicans to start shipping cheap oil north before we start shipping illegal, cheap laborers back home by the busload.
6. Start building refineries on some of those military bases that we want to close down. The federal government can build them and then lease them out. That should reduce the time it takes to get all of the permits to build. It will also provide jobs to those areas impacted by base closings.
7. Last, but certainly not least, we need to drill for oil in our own country to reduce our dependence on foreign supplies. "W' needs to call the sierra Club and the other environmentalists and tell them to start an "Adopt A Caribou" plan. We need to drill for oil in Alaska. I am not worried about Alaskan wildlife nearly as much as I am worried about the impact of expensive gasoline on our economy, not to mention the impact on my wallet.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Call LBJ in Hell!!

Since I am certain that the USA Today will not publish the letter I sent them today, it appears here.
To the Editor:
The photo on today's editorial page is proof that one picture is worth a thousand words. The sight of New Orleans residents sitting outside the Convention Center waiting for help is more than I can stand. These people are evidence of the failure of government social programs. Somebody call LBJ in hell and tell him that the Great Society is a failure. What, might you ask, am I talking about?
We have created a culture of "gimme" people that transcends all racial and gender lines. The people in your photo are sitting among piles of trash waiting for the government to help them. We have rescued these people for so long that they are now unable and unwilling to do anything for themselves. Who among the rest of us would sit surrounded by trash and do nothing to change it?? Those folks are all sitting there with that Alfred E. Neuman "What me worry?" attitude. If they cared about their city or themselves, they would get off their lazy butts and start picking up some of that trash around them. Much like the crowd at the Superdome who just heaped trash on the floor rather than use trash cans, these people are waiting for the government to come and clean up behind them. Let's put all these folks to work cleaning up THEIR city! Why pay a stranger to do it?
Don't waste your time telling me about the need for charity. Jesus told us to help the poor, he didn't say anything about the lazy.
Gilbert Jones

Saturday, September 03, 2005

New Orleans-The Blame Game??

The Internet, the television, and the newspapers are filled with condemnation of President Bush and the federal government for their handling of the Katrina disaster in New Orleans. The Monday morning quarterbacking should continue for months. Shouldn't we clean the mess up and then figure out who to blame?
I may as well jump in since no one else wants to wait. There is more than enough blame for everyone, we just need to take a few minutes to parcel it all out. Bush is the easy target, he should have kicked FEMA into gear a lot sooner. He should have shown up on the scene and taken charge as soon as was possible. Sorry, G.W., you snooze, you lose. But why did George even need to show up?
The female Democrat purporting to govern Louisiana did not fumble the ball. She didn't even know where the game was. Let's see, the largest city in my state is below sea level and there is a Category 5 hurricane on the way, do I do anything? What, other than bitch about Bush, did Blanco do?
The solid favorite in the blame game is the Mayor of the Big Easy. Do I use the school and transit busses to evacuate the poor without cars? Do we have adequate security in place at shelters? Do we even have enough shelters? The City of New Orleans had a plan for hurricanes. It seemed to consist of "Call the feds, we need help!!" How many task forces and planning groups did it take to put that plan together? Hell, it must have taken seconds to come up with that one.
In reality, the blame for this does not belong to any of the individuals mentioned above. It belongs to several layers of government from local to federal. This pack of geniuses allowed, even encouraged, the building of a major American city in a swamp. For more than 150 years they have tried to keep the Mississippi River out of New Orleans and failed. It doesn't matter whether the National Guard was activated or even if there were relief supplies pre-positioned, the city is in a swamp below sea level. It's a no-win situation.
Stop the insanity!!! Pump out the water so folks can retrieve their belongings. Once that time is up, blow the levees and the river walls. Whatever remains above water can stay, without any obligation for any government to help them again. With any luck, there is oil under the ground there.
They call New Orleans The Big Easy." They also say "Easy come, easy go."